


Her piano fingers

by RuthAlyssa



Category: Carol (2015)
Genre: F/F, Only slight mentions of Harge and Abby, Rating May Change, Rindy may make cameos though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-05-09 22:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5558684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuthAlyssa/pseuds/RuthAlyssa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I suppose so. I want to play music for people, but I don't quite know how to convey how I feel." She glances down at the piano then up at me through her eyelashes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This my very first fic to be posted, so be gentle with any criticism. I have watched Carol 5 times now and I see something new in Carol and Therese's relationship every time. The most recent time I watched, I paused at the beginning of the piano scene because so many little fic ideas came to my mind.  
> I do plan to continue with this story, and yes I do plan for the chapters to get longer. It's almost 3 am for me, but I just couldn't get this out of my head and I had a moment of courage to finally post something I wrote. I don't know my schedule of when I will update this, but I'm always thinking of things to write so I dont imagine it being more than a week or so. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this little piece into my crazy Carol/Therese obsessed mind. Until next time... XO

When I put my hands on her shoulders, I rest them there and look down at the piano. I see the fingers that have stopped playing the song are still resting on the keys. While she only played a handful of bars from a few different songs, her fingers flew at a grace over the keys that I haven't seen. Her piano fingers have entranced me.

"How do you do that, dearest?" I ask of her.  
"W-What do you mean Carol?" She asks back in her soft, sweet voice.  
"Your fingers. How do you move them like that?" I give her shoulders a little squeeze and my drag my hand across the top of her shoulders as I sit next to her on the bench at the piano.  
"Oh, I don't know Carol. It's just something I do." Therese answers.  
"Is this what you want to do, play piano?" I ask of her while glancing again at her fingers resting on the piano.  
"I suppose so. I want to play music for people, but I don't quite know how to convey how I feel." She glances down at the piano then up at me through her eyelashes.

 

We are both staring at each other, no other sound happening than our gentle breathing. I turn to look down at my hands that are crossed on my lap and think of the feelings that are happening that I thought for sure wouldn't come back. With Abby, these feelings were slow and fun, like waves gently coming to shore. But I had Harge to think about, and 9 months later I also had Rindy. I couldn't let the feelings go anywhere, so I stopped things with Abby. She is still a dear friend, and godmother to Rindy, but that's all. I tried to focus on Harge for Rindy's sake. Rindy deserved to have two parents under the same house, could anyone blame me for putting my daughter before myself?

With Therese though, I can't quite seem to make these feelings go away. Maybe it's because Harge and I are most fully divorced, or maybe it's because she was flung out of space and landed on this godforsaken Earth for some reason beyond our knowing. Either way, when I think of Therese and things I feel for her, they are like waves violently and frequently crashing on shore with no stopping in sight. 

 

"Would you play me something, Therese? Would you play me something about how you are feeling right in this moment?" I gently ask her with my head turned so I can look at her profile. She breathes in deep and nods.

She lifts her fingers and pauses before she starts playing. She plays a tune I have never heard before. It's not too fast, but it's not slow either. It jumps from being louder to being soft. Like she can't quite decide what she wants, but she knows she wants something. I wonder if the feelings she is playing about, are feelings about me? Is she having feelings about me, but is doubting whether she should have them or not?  
I lift my right hand and gently start playing a series of notes that fit right in with her tune. Not quite taking over, but adding a gentle melody. Letting her know that I am feeling things as well, but will support her in whatever she decides. 

A few moments later we both stop and all is quite again. I breathe in deep and lift my head to see her already looking at me. I stare at her for a few seconds before gently tilting my head to the side as if I am asking her a question. A gentle rose color blush crosses her cheeks before she smiles and I see catch a glimpse of her dimples before she once again ducks her head. 

 

What a strange girl she is. With her quiet beauty and piano fingers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How come Therese? You played beautifully the last time I heard you," I reply.
> 
> "The last time you heard me play was the last time I played the piano."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Here is another update for you all. It seems like my creative juices only flow around 2-4am. I've been trying to write during the day, but nothing comes. The second it is about 3am I suddenly know what to write. Rindy is in this chapter. While I mentioned that she won't have a HUGE part in the story, she will have a part. 
> 
> I imagine the song that is played in chapter is Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles. Don't for get to review of you wish! Also if you would like to see something in this fic sen it to me and I will be sure to write it in!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy and leave a review if you wish! XO

From the moment she met me at the restaurant, and I sat down across from her I knew that my little darling had matured. No longer was she the shy person that didn't know what she wanted and was almost afraid to touch me. Now she was a strong, confident woman that knew what she wanted. Although her saying no to coming and living with me in my new apartment upset me, I couldn't be prouder. Before the whole ordeal of me leaving her in Waterloo, I think she would have agreed to come live with me just to make me happy. So while I would love nothing more than to have her with me in my apartment, I understand and respect the fact the she needs her own space. 

 

I hear the jingle of a bell signaling someone has come into the store, startling me out of my thoughts. Before I can turn around I hear someone call out.

"Carol? I'm here." I let out a reserved smile as I hear the small voice float through the store.

"Therese! You made it!" I quickly walk over to her and help her out of her coat and hang it by the door.

"But of course! I would never miss finally being able to see the store. I just wish I could have seen it sooner."

"You have classes, dearest. I understand." I see her smile and blush a little and I realize that the shy little girl is still there, just grown up a little.  
She stands off to the side with her hands clasped in front of her just looking around. I see her looking towards the back of the store and before she can see I touch the top part of her arm. 

"Come, I will show you around." I reply and take her all through the store. We look at the small antique's that are towards the front of the store then progressively get closer to the back of the store where the bigger furniture is. 

"Oh wow, Carol, this is gorgeous." Therese says when she comes up to the white piano in the back. She walks a little closer to it to look inside the piano.  
"I saw it at an auction where we get a lot of our furniture from and it reminded me of when we played together."

After I made that comment I looked towards Therese's back, so desperately wondering what she was thinking. That moment at the piano all those months ago was so special to me for many reasons. I found something that Therese and I had in common and I feel that to me it was the moment our relationship really started.

"Yes, I remember. We played beautifully together." She turns to look at me with a soft smile that says so many things. Oh, how I wish we were someplace else so we could talk things through.

"You should play something," I quietly say.

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly do that Carol," she quietly says.

"How come Therese? You played beautifully the last time I heard you," I reply.

"The last time you heard me play, was the last time I played the piano." 

While I could tell that she meant no harm by that comment, it hurt. The last time I heard Therese play, the time we played together, was almost a year ago. When saw played for me she looked so happy and content, I couldn't imagine her not playing when it invoked such feelings from her. Before I was able to say something back we were interrupted.

"Mommy! I'm here" I hear little Rindy say while running towards me. I look up and see Harge standing by the door. We agreed to bring Rindy here for when he drops her off for my weekend visitations.

"Hello darling girl, how are you today?" I reply while bringing her into my arms and holding her onto my hip. 

"I'm good mommy. Can the piano make music yet?" Ever since Rindy saw the piano in my shop a little over a month ago she has wanted it to make music. I've told her only someone with special hands can get it to play.

"Do you remember what I was telling you about the person with special hands?" Rindy nods her head fast and I glance over Rindy to see Therese smiling while looking at us. "Well, there is finally someone here with special hands. Do you remember my friend Therese?" I sat Rindy down on the floor and she looks towards Therese and nods.

"Hello." Rindy quietly says

"Hello, Rindy. You have on a very beautiful dress today." Therese replies while kneeling so she is the same height as Rindy.

"Thank you. My mommy told me that someone with special hands knows how to make the piano play. Do you have special hands?"

"Oh, I'm not sure. Do you think I have special hands?" Therese asks while holding out her hands towards Rindy. Rindy takes them and looks at them.

" Yes, you do. Can you make the piano play?" I step forward to get Rindy's attention. If Therese really hasn't played in almost a year in any way because of me, I don't want her to feel she has to play now. Before I am able to get Rindy's attention Therese replies.

"I think I can, but I think I'll need someone with extra special hands."

" Oh, I'm special! My mommy says I'm special all the time!"

"Well if your mommy says you are, then you must be very special. We need to ask your mother if it's okay first, though." Rindy then makes a beeline for me.

"Can I please help Therese make the piano work?" I look up at Therese and see her nod a little.

"Of course darling, but make sure you listen to Therese okay?"

"Yes, mommy I promise. Thank you, mommy!"

I watch her go back over to Therese and I watch with a soft smile on my face. Therese pulls the piano bench back a little then I see her help Rindy get on her lap. 

 

"So Rindy what you need to do is rest your hands on the top of my hands gently and make sure your fingers are lined up with my fingers." After Therese gently helps Rindy she says,  
"When I play the piano my hands and fingers may move fast, but make sure your hands stay calm like they are now ok?" Rindy nods her head and then Therese starts to play.

After a few moments, Rindy brings her head up from watching her and Therese's hands and smiles big at me with a sparkle in her eye. 

Seeing my Therese interact so well with Rindy makes my heart so happy and just solidifies that choosing to live my life for love and not just my image anymore was a good one. 

Looking around, I see that my darling girls with their piano fingers have brought smiles to everyone in the store.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I try to escape her hands and look down but I hear Carol whisper a broken please and my eyes shoot up to meet with hers. Her normally crystal blue oceanic eyes are now a dark blue storm and brimming with tears...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's me. (Sorry, I couldn't resist!!) Anyways, I'm sorry that this update has taken so long!! I've been dealing with some really personal things and they left me in a really bad head space. But everything is settling a little bit and I was able to write this chapter. This chapter is really personal for me in that it has many references to my personal life, so be gentle please. I'm back at college so I don't know often I'll be able to update, but I do actually write better when I'm at college so maybe you guys will get lucky! ;)
> 
> This chapter is from Therese's POV. I know I normally write from Carol's POV, but I felt like it would do more justice to the story if this chapter was from Therese's POV. If you guys would like, I could also write this chapter from Carol's POV and post it as a bonus chapter. What do you guys think?  
> Also this chapter has angst in it, so fair warning. I don't think it's angst overload or anything, because I'm not that kind of person, but it is definitely there. As always leave a review if you wish. You can find me on twitter and tumblr, I posted them last chapter I think. 
> 
> Until next time my dears... OX

Walking to Carol’s apartment I am struck with a certain nervousness. I know that tonight we will be talking about the time we spent apart after she left me in that hotel room. While I am glad that we will be talking things through, I’m not glad that the emotions will be brought back. It took me a long while to get to where I am now. Carol leaving me, no matter for what reason, has really changed me. Walking up to Carol’s apartment on Madison Ave. I take a deep breath and press the buzzer outside the door. 

“Yes?” I hear Carol’s voice crackle through.

“It’s Therese, I’m here,” I respond. 

A few moments I hear a buzzer and I open the door and walk in. I look down to the number of her apartment, 5A. Fifth floor first door. I ride the elevator up and get off and stand in front of her door. I take a deep breath and knock. Carol opens the door and I am blown away. Even after all this time she is still so gorgeous. 

“Come in Therese, please.” 

I walk in and I feel Carol gently take off my jacket. I look around and I see the living in taken up mostly of a grand piano. I smirk because to have something big and red take up most of her living room is such a Carol thing.

“Do you want to talk about everything first, or would you like to eat something first?” Carol asks me.

“I think talking first would be better, so there is no awkward silence.” I answer.

“Alright dearest. Would you like to start talking about what you felt, or would you like me to start?”

“I’ll start, and then you could jump in whenever you would like?” I ask Carol while looking at her.

“Of course. Whenever you are ready Therese.” Carol replies. 

I take a deep breathe and begin, “I just want to start by saying I know why you had to leave me all those months ago. You had to try for Rindy; you had try to be the mother you think she deserves. I do get that. I’m not upset about that. What hurts me the most I guess is the fact that you left me when I was asleep. With no warning or anything.”

“Do you understand why I did that Therese? Why I had to do that?” Carol interrupts me. 

“No, I guess I don’t Carol.” 

“I couldn’t tell you I was planning to leave because we might have still been watched. I couldn’t tell you because I couldn’t risk being over heard,” Carol softly replies with her husky voice. 

I sit and think for a moment then I start to pace around the room. I see Carol worriedly follow me with her eyes but I don’t acknowledge her. I pace for a while then I stop and turn to look at Carol. 

“You could have written a letter to me just plainly saying you had to leave and try for Rindy. That could have been all you put and it would have been enough." I say to Carol while tearing up. 

“But I did write you a letter. I left it with Abby, did she not give it to you?” Carol replies.

“No she did, and I’m grateful you did that. You have no idea how many times I’ve read that letter. While that did give me some comfort when I needed it, it also never actually told me why you left. After I was able to calm down I was able to put together that you left because of wanting to be there for Rindy. But once I saw Abby in the room instead of you, do you know what I started to think?” Carol shakes her head no, “I thought you left me because I hurt you, I thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.” 

 

At that point I crumble to the floor and start crying. I hear Carol rush over and I can tell she has sat next to me on the floor and she is now running her fingers through my hair. I let myself cry for as long I’m able because this is the only time I’ve cried since Abby drove me back home. I can hear Carol murmur sweet things into my ear trying to calm me. After a while of me crying I calm down and back up a little. Carol cradles my face with her hands and asks me… 

“Dearest, how could you ever think I wouldn’t want anything to do with you? You are my angel that came down and saved me from living a life I would never be happy in.”

I try to escape her hands and look down but I hear Carol whisper a broken please and my eyes shoot up to meet with hers. Her normally crystal blue oceanic eyes are now a dark blue storm and brimming with tears.

“Carol what-"

“No Therese, tell me why you thought that. Please tell me.”

I contemplate not telling her but with one more glance up at her stormy eyes, I borough deeper into her hold and take a deep breath and begin.

“My mother. She woke me up in the middle of the night and took me to an orphanage and dropped her off at the front door. When I asked her why before she took off again, she told me that I wasn’t, and never will be enough. You leaving me while I was sleeping brought back that feeling of not being enough.”

Carol and I held each other for a long while after my confession and just reveled in being in each other’s arms again. After both of our breathing got back to normal Carol pushed me back a little bit and whipped my face with her thumbs and just looked all over my face. I’m not quite sure what she was looking for but I let her look for as long as she needed. The tears that were in her eyes fell out of the corners of her eyes so I gently brought my hands up and whipped her tears away and then locked my hands behind her neck and gently looked at her.

“My dearest Therese. I will never leave you like that again. You will always know if I ever have to leave or stay out past my normal work hours, regardless if we ever live together or not. If we end up spending a night together and I need to leave before you wake up I will either write you a note and set it by the table by the door, or I will wake you up myself. I promise you. I never want you to ever feel like that again! Do you believe me Therese?” 

 

Carol said all to me in a gentle voice while looking directly in my eyes. I look all over her face for a moment and see absolute sincerity and devotion in her eyes. I nod and the most brilliant smile crosses Carol’s face. I start to laugh a little bit and the last few tears escape out of my eyes. I wipe them away with the back of my sleeve and when I put my arm back around Carol’s neck the next thing I feel are Carol lips upon my own.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "... I just would like for you to be here with me of that is something you would wish as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!!!!  
> Is there still anyone reading/following this?? I'm SO incredibly sorry for such a long wait for an update. I could throw so many excuses at you, but that is just what they would be excuses. 
> 
> I hope this update flows well from chapter 3 because I wanted this updated to happen almost right after.I don't know when I will update soon, and I don't want to throw out a date, and me miss it and let you all down. So I'll say hopefully soon!! I have no intention to stop writing for this fic, so I don't see me finishing it anytime soon. And I HATE when fics are abandoned, so I assure that wont happen with this!!
> 
> You can find me on twitter at, RuthAlyssa and tumblr at, goodcancomfrombroken
> 
> leave a kudos or comment, so I know there is still interest in this!!
> 
> Until next time my dears... OX

Looking over from my place on the couch, seeing Therese in my kitchen fills this spot in my heart that is distinctly Therese shaped. The conversation we had those few months ago have set aside some of the fears. There are still somethings we have to work through, but that doesn’t seem like much of a problem as long as we are together. 

“Therese, do you need any help?" I ask while getting up from my spot on the couch.

“No thank you Carol. I’m just about finished with the chopping.” Therese replies with a soft smile. 

I go over to the counter in the kitchen and see most all of the the vegetables there are most all chopped into little pieces. I go to stand behind her to wrap my arms loosely around her waist and look down. I see her hands have stopped moving; one hand holing the knife and the other holding the last the carrot that needs to be chopped. I see her fingers loosely holding the items and have the sudden need to touch her fingers. 

I drag my hands from around her waist, up her sides, down her arms, and to her hands. I let my finger tips run along and in between her fingers. I let my fingers rest in between Therese’s and I feel her take a deep breathe in and slowly release it. I lean down a bit to be able to whisper in her ear, “Finish up dearest. I am absolutely famished.”

I walk away from the kitchen and take a seat at the little breakfast nook, and turn my body so I am able to see Therese. When I look up I see Therese with her hands placed flat on the counter and looking at my with her bottom lip in between her teeth. I wink at her and watch the slight blush blossom up her neck to her perfect cheeks. She shakes her head and goes back to preparing dinner. While she is finishing up I think back to our conversation a few months ago…

..........

After releasing from the kiss, I cradle Therese’s face in my hands and look in her eyes. “How was it for you after I left?” I quietly ask her. Therese looks down and bite her lip.

“Dearest please. I know it must have been hard for you, as it was hard for me as well, but we need to talk about it if we plan to have a healthy and strong relationship.” I plead of her. 

She takes a deep breathe and then, “I was in pain. Physical and emotional pain. I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t want to live anymore at one point.” She stops there and wipes her face. 

“I already told you about my mom leaving me and how you leaving me triggered those feelings. But Carol, the worst part was that I thought you were going back to Harge because I wasn’t good. It was my first time, as you know, so I didn’t know what I was doing. You’ve been with Harge and Abby so you know how to make someone feel good. And then there’s me. I-”

She breaks down in powerful sobs, bent over her knees. Carol flies to Therese and cradles her to her chest. 

“Oh my darling no. I promise no. There are no expectations here. Yes I have been with Abby, but that was only a few times, and I didn’t feel for her as I do for you. Please dearest. I know words won’t fix anything, I know that. But please listen to me when I tell you that, there are no expectations. Not for sex or anything. If you never wanted to have sex again that is fine. I just would like for you to be here with me, if that is something you would wish as well.”

..........

I am startled out of my thoughts by Therese sitting on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Carol. Why such a sad face? Where were your thoughts?” Therese asked with a concerned voice. 

Wrapping my arms around my Therese I reply with, “Be still Therese, I am well. I was just thinking about our conversation.”

Therese frowns and starts with, “Carol I-”

“No dearest. It’s alright. I promise. I was just thinking of how much that conversation helped us.”

To emphasize her point, she squeezes her arms that are around Therese and leans up for a kiss. When the kiss is over, Therese leans back slightly and look deep into Carol’s eyes. Finding on sincerity she nods with a smile. 

“Well dinner should be ready soon. I just wanted to let you know.” Therese said while getting up to serve dinner,.

Carol stands up and grabs Therese’s arm and pulls her in for one more gentle kiss. 

“Thank you, dearest.”


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My sweet sweet love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! It was only 1 month between updates and not 8. : )
> 
> Hope you like this! It is a bit short, but really close to my heart!!
> 
> Review if you want!
> 
> You can find me on twitter... @RuthAlyssa 
> 
> OXOX

Carol POV

 

As I awake from my sleep I stretch my body. I look to my right and see Therese stretched out on her front, still fast asleep with her head turned towards me. I roll over on my side and lift my hand to gently sweep the hair off of her face. Therese has let her hair grow out, so when I gently place her hair on her back it reaches about half way down her back. 

I lay my head back down on the pillow, and stare at her beauty. Her dark hair is so soft it perfectly frames her face. Her eyes, although closed now, capture me with how deep and soulful they are. Her eyes lashes momentarily start to flutter, and I nibble my bottom lip fearing I got caught. After a few minutes Therese nuzzles deeper into the pillow and I continue my quite exploration of her features. As I come to her lips I am stopped. When awake, they speak the most beautiful words to me that make me wonder how this divine angel is mine. Other times those perfect full lips of hers say the most teasing things I don’t know if I should just pounce on her or tease her right back. Now though, they are slightly puckered in a pout and she is the most precious thing ever. I glance down her body and see our blanket is pooled around her hips so her back is completely bare to me. The subtle arch of her back and the curvature of her spine is so delicate that I can’t help but stare. Whether her back is arched in pleasure or she is just like she is now, she absolutely stuns me every time. 

I drag my eyes back up her body and when I get to her face I see her eyes are open and she is staring at me. I am instantly entrapped by the deepness of her eyes, I can’t look away. She is so beautiful like this. Make up off and walls down. She is bare to me and I can’t up fall in love with her all over again. Her hand is resting by her face and her fingers are slightly curled. I slowly drag my hand closer to her and gently trace her pinky finger with the tip of my index. 

“Hello my precious,” I whisper out.  
“Carol,” she responds

Looking down and seeing her all curled onto my shoulder makes me realize how lucky I am. No one else is able to see her like this, walls down and completely serene. When out doing day to day things, she is so guarded and always in control of herself.  
Here like this with me, she is just herself. She has curled herself to my side and rested her head on my shoulder. She has her face turned towards me like even when she see is sleeping she needs to be as close to me as possible. She has her hands curled under chin and they are resting on me too. She always has to touch as much of me as possible, even when sleeping. 

My sweet, sweet love.


End file.
